I am really ouchy today. But for once it's for a good reason. My legs are as sore as an average person would expect to be after taking an extra long walk above their fitness level. It hasn't seemed to trigger a flare. I was hoping to try to walk today but other things got in the way. I have hope I will walk tomorrow.
Walking with my partner was totally worth being sore today.
I haven't walked farther than my back yard or short trips to a store in years. The pain or fatigue nearly crippling me. But today I felt up to going for a walk.
My partner (or son) walks our dog everyday. I have never done that walk with them. Not once in 4 years. It was such a beautiful day. Perfect weather. So, last minute decision, I put my shoes on and out the door I went.
My partner had to slow down considerably for me. I thought 'I'll walk this little loop, then I'll go back' . But I felt great, so I kept going. Next it was 'I'll go to that road' and 'I'll go to the corner'. I decided to sit even though I didn't "have to" when we got to a good place to rest. They continued their walk and circled back to me (no way I was walking 5k). After sitting I was refreshed. So the walk home together was easier than I'd thought possible.
Here's the catch... I made the decision to walk knowing there is the possibility it will trigger a flare that will make me nonfunctional for days. I don't even know yet. Tomorrow will tell. But I'm proud of myself for being able to move forward today and be able to decide a walk with my partner is worth that chance.
I've been working on an online research 'journal' to earn a little money. This research asked about mental and physical health and wellness. It was super depressing. They asked alot of questions that were hard to answer. As people with chronic illnesses, we tend to gloss over the details of our days. I will tell someone I am having a good or bad day, if they ask. Because I cannot change it, I stop myself from thinking about how my life would be if I wasn't sick, or if I had a ton of money or even if I just had better health insurance coverage. We cope by focusing on the good things. For example, I have been doing so well I haven't spent a full day in bed in 2 years. A few a days I was only up for a few hours, but I was up. So, I pushed through the uncomfortable journal entries, thwn turn my mind back to the good things in my life.
Focus on the Can's, not the Can't's.
