I have the dumb

I'm a relatively intelligent person, well book smart anyway.  There are some days when I have no access to that intelligence.  It's incredibly frustrating, and crushing.  Sometimes I tell people I can't brain, or I have the dumb.  It's easier to make a joke than to go into the reality of it.  

There's a combination of fibro fog, meds, depression fog, and trouble focusing among other things, that causes it.  It's one more way I'm unable to function, one more impairment in a long list of them.  One more failing in me, one more thing to compensate for.  

How do you compensate for not being able to think straight?  People say to get more sleep, but they don't understand that it doesn't matter how much sleep I get when my brain decides there are no spoons for thinking.  All I can do is try not to do anything important that requires clear thought - like bill paying.  It's amazing how many ways that can go wrong.

Far as I know nothing can be done about this except for what I already do to accommodate it.  It makes me feel useless.  Screw you brain, seriously.

Trying to leave the house with medical issues

Got braces?

It takes while to get ready to leave the house.  People get impatient waiting for me to "strap up".  I never know which of them I'll need, it's often all of them.  Because I need them sometimes and not others some people assume that I don't really need them at all.  Why on earth would someone walk around with all this stuff on if they didn't need to?  They're not always comfortable, some of the wrist braces bruise my knuckles if I'm not careful. When the options are bruised knuckles or not being able to use your hand it isn't much of a choice, though.  

It's frustrating for me as well.  I'd like to be able to just up and go.  Sometimes I convince myself that I'm ok and don't need them and then I'm out and a knee goes out or something and suddenly anything but sitting becomes extremely difficult.  Even sitting too much causes pain issues, so there really is no winning in this situation. I keep pushing myself because as much as it hurts to push to do things I know that if I stop I'll lose the ability to do them at all.  I know I'm lucky to an extent, that I can still go do physical things that I enjoy even if it takes extra support. Some day I won't be able to anymore, and I dread that day.  I do everything I can to keep from getting to that point.